Reprogramming Your Brain
Alright I briefly mentioned that mindset is important. Let us explore why is it is important and how to make it right.
Now that you are about to start your next phase of life, you must be ready to deal with all the googlies life throws at you. If you are the shy and awkward type, it is time to toughen up and change your mindset. This is ABSOLUTELY necessary if you want to have a satisfying and successful career, and also a quality personal life and relationships.
A healthy and success seeking mindset is formed by three ingredients. These ingredients are present at varying levels in every individual, depending on their genetic makeup, culture and the way they were raised.
If you don’t have enough of these qualities, it is OK! The good news is, you can improve and strengthen it over time by practicing success mindset. It will take time to change the mindset permanently until then I recommend ‘Fake it till you make it’! Meaning act like you are confident even if you don’t feel confident. Get comfortable with English like it is your mother tongue, even though you struggle with it. You get the idea?
Self-confidence, Self-esteem and communication skills are three pillars of success and a foundation of a quality life. You may be thinking, come on, I am already confident! If you are confident only with your mom, friends and neighbors it is not enough! If you struggle to answer questions in interviews especially when you know the answers or if you are shy during the interview, then you need a big shot of confidence.
You get these three qualities up to the mark, I guarantee you, you will feel like a million bucks and do well in life. Everything is much easier and less frustrating.
Let’s define these pillars and break them down.
Self-Confidence:
It is “self-assurance in one’s personal judgment, ability, power, etc”.
Self-Esteem:
It is “your evaluation of your own worth”.
Communication Skills:
I am going to define communication skills in a broad way. These skills include written and spoken communication, non-verbal communication that includes voice tonality, body language etc.
Once you master these pillars, you will ace most of the interviews! Interviews are a totally a different ball game when you walk into the room with super-confidence and charisma.
You are probably thinking that is not possible. Yes it is possible, it is all in your HEAD! But you will need practice and lot of improvement, depending on your current level of confidence etc.
Ever noticed how James Bond is always calm and collected? You have never seen him nervous and anxious, have you? That is how I want you to be in the interviews and in life. It is an awesome feeling once you have reached that level of self-assurance. Of course James Bond is a fictitious character, but those qualities are real. Successful and confident people carry themselves like that, it is ingrained in them!
The best part is this transformation will help you in other aspects of life as well, dating, marriage, and relationships with family and friends. This is one of those things that should not be ignored at any cost by anyone.
You may feel you are trying to be someone you are not, when trying to change. Trust me there is nothing wrong or any harm in becoming more confident and improving your personality.
This is also helpful when you start working. There will be times when you will have to work long hours or weekends, which is OK. It is pretty standard to do this. But the managers and leads might expect you to do this on a very regular basis if they think they can get away with it because you are shy and afraid to say “No”. Saying ‘No’ to higher-ups, girlfriends/boyfriends etc. is one of the most powerful things you can do. If you lack confidence, good luck saying “No”. You will meekly commit to working yet another weekend instead of spending quality time with your friends and family or just relaxing.
Note: Once in a while it is OK to work on weekends or long hours on weekdays. Everyone does it once in a while.
Once you get these qualities ingrained, you can get all the jobs you want, provided you have a good resume to begin with. I cover resumes in detail in the next part of the book.
Storytelling and a sense of humor also help during the interview. These qualities add charisma to your personality. Nothing is more appealing and pleasing than a charismatic person. They are like magnets attracting and pulling people’s attention and their admiration. It also helps in getting popular at work once you have the job. With popularity comes connections and networking opportunities that can lead to climbing the corporate ladder faster than others.
Don’t worry; you won’t be telling any embarrassing or funny stories from college or childhood. When you get good at story telling you also get good at describing things and expressing your thoughts and feelings. This ability translates to the way you answer questions especially situational questions. For example, the interviewer may ask to tell him/her a time when you faced a challenge or a problem in the project. Story telling skills will give you the ability to recall something and tell it eloquently. The way you say it and express it will be appealing and interesting. You don’t need excellent storytelling skills, as long as you can eloquently talk about your experiences in the interview, you should be fine. But I recommend you spend time to get good at it, it is a nice quality to have.
And it does help with your dating life too, when you have to tell funny and interesting stories during dates, or when hanging out with family/friends. People love good stories. Period! Without the skill you can screw up and make even a good story sound bad! If dating or marriage is your next goal after getting a job, you better starting working on it.
Next Lesson: Pillars At Work In the Interview
Previous Chapter : The Formula